Sunday, August 10, 2008

Oceans, Tears and Other Large Bodies of Water

One week from today, barring any complications financial or otherwise, I will be at the oceans front for 6 days. Please complications... don’t raise your ugly heads. Last year when we were supposed to go, the car was in the shop to the tune of $2400.00.

I cannot remember a time I did not love the ocean, or the lake, or a pool. Mostly the ocean though.

I don’t swim that well, but I could stay in the water for hours and hours. I’ve met jellyfish face to face, (well - face to legs anyway), and have been pulled into an undertow, but even with those fears slightly in the back of my mind, I still love to be in the water.

I hate hot weather, but with the ocean and I can at least cool off whenever I need to. Some people go on vacation and shop and go to shows. To me the biggest show is the water. I can be anywhere I want to be watching those waves. I can be anybody I want to be.

Husband as well as the furry babies, are going. I am praying this will be a good time for husband and I. Maybe without all the work stress and the bills and the routine business of life we can pull back the passion we had once, before it disappears never to return. The shrink is not optimistic, but I feel I have to be. Who would have ever thought I could be more optimistic than my shrink?

Maybe if it does nothing else, the salt water can wash the profound aloneness and sadness from my heart.


Summer said...

Hi. I'm new here and I like what I've read. I hope you get to the ocean this week. It's my favorite place too.

Raine said...

If I wanted to regain a husbands interest in a situation such as yours I would go get my hair done, join a gym, revamp my wardrobe. Then I would proceed to ignore him. I would be polite but that would be it. I would go out and make a new life for myself. I would develop a social life and new interests. I would brazenly talk and flirt with men and even go to dinner with them. I would go out with girlfriends. If I didnt have any- I would make some and then go out with them. If and when my husband showed signs of interest I would not just cave in, I would make him work at things and "woo" me again. You know-see if I could find a bit of time to fit him in my busy schedule. This is effective in two different ways. One if there is any chance in h*ll of regaining his interest it will. Two if there is no hope- you have made a new life for yourself. Men are contrary creatures. Seriously. Attempting to talk to them and fix things is guaranteed to drive them away. Never works. Repairing your self esteem and becoming strong and independant and valuing yourself is like waving catnip in front of a cat to them. They are like "hey whats up with that? she isnt chasing me anymore.......... she has a life......... wow shes looking good......... etc etc" This may not be what you want to hear. I just thought I'd throw it out there. Recently a guy thought he was gonna dump me. My response instead of trying to fix it was... ok- your loss and I didn't call, didnt whine, didnt ....... etc etc etc. I really do have like 6 more men who are quite willing to go out with me. I am not a particularly attractive female. I am forty - five, overweight, and have a receding chin. But this man now keeps calling and calling and calling. Why? Because I really dont care if hes there or not and men find that a challenge. If I tried to chase him or convince him we "belonged together" he'd run like a rabbit

Artemis said...

I hope you're currently enjoying a wonderful time on the beach! I agree - there's nothing like the ocean.