Saturday, July 29, 2006

Abandoned Babies and Daniel’s Law

The state of South Carolina passed a law in 2000 known as Daniel’s Law.

This law provides that a mother, or a person designated by her, can leave her baby without fear of prosecution with someone at a hospital, church, synagogue, fire department or outpatient medical facility.

Daniel's Law is intended to save babies. It is not intended to hurt or punish anyone. It provides a safe option for mother and baby.

A person who abandons a newborn cannot be prosecuted for abandonment if he or she takes the unharmed baby to an employee at a hospital or hospital outpatient facility.The law applies to infants up to 30 days old.The person leaving the child does not have to reveal his or her identity.The person leaving the child will be asked to provide medical information about the baby's parents, and if possible the name of the baby's parents. This will help the medical personnel treat the baby for any health problems.The hospital will provide medical care and contact DSS.DSS will have legal custody of the child.

Last month, a woman in South Carolina took a newborn child to a medical center and handed him over to a nurse there. She informed the nurse that the baby belonged to a friend of hers who asked her to do this. The friend provided the nurse with the mothers’ name.

Several days later, when the results of a blood test came back positive for both marijuana and cocaine, the mother was arrested and charged with unlawful child neglect.

Now I HATE what this mother put her baby through by abusing drugs while she was pregnant. I abhor it. I am a former foster parent and I KNOW how these babies suffer from withdrawal, however, what did this teach other young mothers-to-be out there??? To what fate did we subject newborns in the future? Now instead of being taken and given up to a facility where the baby will be safe and warm and taken care of and loved, we will continue to find them in dumpsters and ponds and other places where desperate “mothers” decide to “throw them away” because they are fearful of jail. They will suffer and live their few hours on this earth alone, hungry and cold.

I do not pretend to know all the answers, but am I the only person who thinks we just defeated the ENTIRE FRIGGING PURPOSE of this law!?!?!

Monday, July 10, 2006

If a Woman Stays with a Batterer, She Deserves to be Hit

(and other incredibly stupid things people say!)

Have you ever made that comment, or heard someone else say this when reading about a wife being abused or murdered by her husband or significant other? If so, have I got news for you.

Most women do not enjoy being hit. Most women do not enjoy being belittled. Most women do not enjoy being forced to do things in the bedroom that they are not comfortable with or that they feel are degrading.

Most women do not enjoy being called names. Most women do not enjoy not being free to see her family and friends. Most women do not enjoy.....

Friends, I could go on and on. For me, the name calling was worse than the slapping and pushing and hitting. The “oink oink” sounds made at me when I walked through the room did more damage to me than the bruises that eventually went away.

For those of you who say, “Why do women stay with men who hit them?” there are several answers.

Some women made youthful mistakes and married way too young and have no education and MickeyD’s just won’t pay the bills.

Some women have been “beaten down” to the point, both physically and mentally, that they think they are stupid and useless and would never survive. They feel they deserve no better.

Some women were brought up in abuse, and in turn “seek out” (unconsciously) men who will mistreat them. They think it is normal. I imagine that sounds farfetched and hard to believe, but I didn’t “get it” until I was in my late 30’s. I thought everyone lived the way I did.

Some women stay for “religious” reasons. Thinking that the abuse is their lot in life, or that divorce would be “wrong” in God’s eyes.

Some stay “for the kids”.

Some stay because “he” tells them he will kill them if they try to leave.

Some stay 24 years and never reported it the first time, because they know it would be twice as bad when the police leave.

I told two people, years ago. One was his father, and I had the “proof” on my face when I told him. The other was my (much) older sister. They didn’t want to get involved. More “proof” that I didn’t deserve any better.

There are lots of reasons why women stay. None of them include enjoying it...or deserving it.