Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thinking Back

Back in my day, teachers didn't tell what they saw. Neighbors minded their own business. Relatives didn't get involved.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Still Hanging On

I'm still alive. Back to work today after 4 weeks MLOA. I've never been so bad I had to be put out of work until now. Not ready to come back but no choice unless I want to risk losing my position.

On Seroquel at 300mg. It is very sedating for me even tho I take it at night. I'm going to give it a couple of weeks more but it has to get better for me to stay on it.

Also on Pristiq 50 & Lamictal 200.

Ativan did nothing.
Klonipin (sp?) did nothing.
Tranxene made me feel "weird" so I quit taking that.

The anxiety has eased about 40% I'd say. The depression about 50%.

Sometimes I think all I have left is 20 more years of major depression minus 50%. Can't ever seem to get any better than that. It is only slightly better than wishing you wouldn't wake up.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


Well, the Tranxene didn't put out the fire, so today he put me on Seroquel. In two weeks if there is no improvement, (or before then if things get too much worse), we're looking at hospitalization.

I've never been in the hospital, much less the "nut house" - and I feel I can use that term because I am a nut. Kind of scary to think about based on movies I have watched, but this feeling is scary too. Tit for tat I suppose.