Saturday, December 13, 2008

There are several blogs I read religiously. Most are written by medical personnel types, and some are people like me, who have some type of battle with depression or bipolar.

Yesterday, one that I read on a regular basis, sounded very much like the writer was in a “bad way”. It spoke of suicide in no uncertain terms.

Over the past few years I have been blogging, there was a really bad time where my depression was not under control. I could not see a way out and the future to me looked like more suffering than I was able to handle.

I didn’t hesitate to write about my feelings during that period. It was a good way for me to get the thoughts in my head out in the open. I am not a social butterfly and don't talk to people much - other than my husband. It was healthy for me to be able to "say" these things to that someone who was out there in internet world reading.

During that period, I had some really awesome people write to me through email and through my comment section some very encouraging words. Those people who bothered to communicate to me during those times will never know how much they helped me.

So, yesterday when I read this Suicide is Painless post, I ignored this bloggers request not to comment. She put in the post that comments were turned off. So, I just went to the prior post and commented to her anyway. I told her some of the kind things that people had said to me when I was at my worst and basically asked her to please promise to hold out through the holidays and reminded her that when we feel suicidal it is our brains lying to us.

Today, this blogger has put a rather testy note on her blog that she didn’t appreciate my going to another post to comment.

I’m torn…I didn’t mean to make her angry. I KNOW how hard the holidays are for people like me who deal with depression. If she was truly feeling suicidal I didn’t feel I could just go on to the next on my list of blogs to read without saying something to her.

Was I wrong to comment after she had specifically said not to? Should I have just ignored what sounded to me like someone with suicide in their mind?


Raine said...

no you werent wrong at all. Actually I think its kinda shitty to put up a post like that and not allow comments. OF course she is undoubtedly in a shitty frame of mind. In my "internet history" I have called 911, made home phone calls, etc etc. I have never once regretted it. The hosts and myself in my old chatroom stopped several suicide attempts and one fake one (she never did THAT again) and got a child that was being abused safe. Never once has anyone excepting the fake suicide person been angry about it later on. They all went on and continued with their lifes, eventually better and happier even if life isnt perfect. How can you regret that. I think it is better to err on the side of caution in these situations.

susan said...

No you were fine.

When someone threatens or talks about suicide, all rules break. You wrote about it, I've personally written about it, but it was my way of working through the feelings at the time and hold on to that rope, not to go gently into that good night.

I don't know the post you refer to or the blogger, but if someone is that suicidal, short of calling 911 or a family mem\ber, I think you did the right thing. It's a hard call.

And Suicide isn't painless. It hurts like hell waking up in the emergency room from a failed attempt.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I look forward to reading more of your blog in the future

Mark p.s./Mark p.s.2 said...

No it was not wrong to comment.As in it is good you commented. You cared. So many people say "its not my problem". Some times it is medling in someone elses business (un-necessarily), sometimes it isn't.