There are several blogs I read religiously. Most are written by medical personnel types, and some are people like me, who have some type of battle with depression or bipolar.
Yesterday, one that I read on a regular basis, sounded very much like the writer was in a “bad way”. It spoke of suicide in no uncertain terms.
Over the past few years I have been blogging, there was a really bad time where my depression was not under control. I could not see a way out and the future to me looked like more suffering than I was able to handle.
I didn’t hesitate to write about my feelings during that period. It was a good way for me to get the thoughts in my head out in the open. I am not a social butterfly and don't talk to people much - other than my husband. It was healthy for me to be able to "say" these things to that someone who was out there in internet world reading.
During that period, I had some really awesome people write to me through email and through my comment section some very encouraging words. Those people who bothered to communicate to me during those times will never know how much they helped me.
So, yesterday when I read this Suicide is Painless post, I ignored this bloggers request not to comment. She put in the post that comments were turned off. So, I just went to the prior post and commented to her anyway. I told her some of the kind things that people had said to me when I was at my worst and basically asked her to please promise to hold out through the holidays and reminded her that when we feel suicidal it is our brains lying to us.
Today, this blogger has put a rather testy note on her blog that she didn’t appreciate my going to another post to comment.
I’m torn…I didn’t mean to make her angry. I KNOW how hard the holidays are for people like me who deal with depression. If she was truly feeling suicidal I didn’t feel I could just go on to the next on my list of blogs to read without saying something to her.
Was I wrong to comment after she had specifically said not to? Should I have just ignored what sounded to me like someone with suicide in their mind?