Thursday, May 14, 2009

I have learned more and more about ignoring my feelings. I've worn that mask for so many years, it goes on each morning as naturally as make-up.

I feel invisible on my job. I don't think my office mates, (who are also my superiors) have a clue what I actually do. They don't seem to "get" that my work sometimes requires being uninterrupted.

My mother doesn't remember the abuse and the severe neglect, or how she threw me out when I became pregnant at 15, she only remembers how long it has been since I called her or visited her last.

My husband doesn't remember the hot sex we had that drew us together in the first place, and now he doesn't want it. He doesn't (?) understand how much I am hurting from this decision, not how tempted I am to rectify it in some other arena.

But I put that mask on, every day, along with my eye liner and mascara.


Raine said...

I'm sorry hun

Just Be Real said...

I hear you dear one. So very sorry that you were abused!!

((((safe hugs))))
Sitting and listening