Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Make it go away mommy....

I sat in my bedroom this evening, 2 foot from where my gun lay. I must have sat there and stared at it for 40 minutes. I could imagine it's weight in my hand, the coldness of the barrel as I pointed it in center mass. I stared and I cried and I stared. I told myself all the things they teach you at times like that.
It worked this time. But I am so tired, So very, very tired.

5 comments:

Raine said...

Why dont you go ahead and go to the hospital. I've been there and when you are feeling as badly as you its really not a bad place to be. As far as a huge bill goes...... well, you know , they cant get blood out of a rock. Pay what you can when you can and if you cant, you cant.

LucidSplash said...

I agree with raine. I'm only a medical student, not a doctor, but I feel like going to the hospital is a good option at this time and sounds like a very reasonable thing to do. You are worth it - go get yourself whatever help they can provide. There IS a way out of that black hole if you let people help you.

Disillusioned said...

I agree too, though I know how hard it is. Things can get better but sometimes we need help to make it so.

NocturnalRN said...

You need help. Please seek it. For yourself. For your family. NOW!
please

irishlass said...

If budget is an issue, look for an energy therapist. I go to one for $60 a visit. They realign your energy body and allow your energy to move more freely through it. I have felt calmer and less stressed and also joyful after I have gone. Look for complementary and alternative medicine practitioners in your area or just google energy therapy and your city. It isn't the whole answer but it might help.