I am a former police officer. One night me and 4 other officers chased this one really "weirded out" lady around a bush (it was a big bush) outside our local emergency room. I mean we were going round and round for what seemed like an hour or so and she would even dive through the durn bush - whatever she was smoking obviously was working because she was getting all scraped up and not even feeling it.
Well when we finally "caught" her (Read: she got worn out) and got her cuffed, she was placed in the back of my car, naturally. (Naturally because I was the only female on my shift - one of only two in the entire department, and if the sleeze-bag guys could get away with it they would stick we females with the female perps. No one, but NO ONE, wants to fight with a female.)
Now this woman had already called me everything but a child of God and had told me to go do things that would have been physically impossible. Stuff like that just doesn't bother me though she didn't know that. I guess after some time she decided none of the nastiness she was throwing my way was working. Just as we were driving out of the parking lot we had all parked in when we responded to the call, she yelled at the top of her little whiny screech-owl voice, " YOU FAT BITCH".
Since she was a "spitter", when she was put in the back seat of my patrol vehicle she was not buckled in. I mean who wants to lean across someone to buckle them in when they're trying to spit on you? So when I, without even thinking, slammed on my brakes... she got an instant "screen test".
A screen test, for the uninitiated, goes like this...there is a wire screen between the back seat and the front in most patrol vehicles. If someone is seated, unbuckled in the back and the driver hits the brakes for whatever reason, the unbuckled person in the back will fly forward hitting the screen in front of them, therefore called a Screen Test.I didn't mean to do it, it just happened. All the other officers, knowing what a screen test was, one by one (the ones who had seen my brake lights) came on the radio and asked if everything was okay with "Charlie 7", thinking I had done the screen test intentionally. I responded, 10-4.
Later on they were all like; "What did she do, why'd you screen test her? Did she spit at you?" I looked them all square in the eye and said, "She. called. me. fat."
You know they never did aggravate me about my extra weight after that.