Monday, June 29, 2009

Prevent Adultery

Adultery

Take my word for it, we never just awaken one day and think, “Hey, I think I’ll ruin a few lives today”. It begins with flattery, maybe a little “harmless” flirting.

Just as someone who has not exercised in years would not suddenly get out there and just take off in a 5k run, they would take it slow, a little bit at a time.

It’s the same way with adultery. You would never dream of yourself as capable of adultery. It is a black and white issue. Then the flirting begins - the feelings of “well I’m not getting what I need at home” or “
I’m not appreciated at home.”

Listen to the song as you read the words:




Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Friday, June 19, 2009

Baby Steps


At 48, I sometimes feel like a newborn. I feel like I am a little child learning life from the beginning. Like a stroke victim learning daily functions all over again. At 48 I can do anything I darn well please and answer to no one unless I decide to. I can cry. I can curse. I can throw things. (I don’t throw things, although sometimes I feel like it.) I can be angry.

I was not allowed to do these things growing up. Crying would get you smacked. Cursing would have gotten me killed I suppose, I was never dumb enough to test that theory. I was taught with the back of a hair brush or a comb across my face, (or whatever happened to be within reach) to keep my emotions level. No anger, no tears, no elation. Just “be” and do that very quietly.

I guess lately I have begun to test my limits. Like a toddler standing to her feet those first couple of times, testing her little legs' ability to walk, I am testing my ability to set my own boundaries and limits. It is a very scary thing to do. Maybe when it is done naturally, at the ages where it is appropriate, it isn’t as frightening, but doing it now at my age is very frightening.

I find my justified anger at work most unsettling. I liken it to when I bought my new roller ball mouse. A roller ball mouse is very different. You lay your hand over the mouse and it never moves. You only move the ball with your thumb. It was distressingly hard to become accustomed to this mouse, but I knew it would be better ergonomically because I was beginning to have some wrist pain. At first though, it was clumsy, difficult and felt unnatural.

That is how my “new” anger feels. Clumsy, unnecessary, pointless. WRONG.

I’m learning though. I am learning I CAN be angry and it is okay. I am learning it is okay to laugh and be happy WITHOUT waiting on the other shoe to drop.