Ovarian Cancer and KOOLS

I went back for my vaginal ultrasound yesterday. My doctor had ordered it based on some symptoms I was having and the pelvic she had performed last week.

I must admit, that technician who did the ultrasound was good! She was so calm and she just really knew how to put one at ease during what could be considered a very embarrassing situation, (and no - no one even offered me a cigarette afterwards). Kudos to her.

I knew something was wrong before the ultrasound was done. The tech had been talking and we were laughing about the fact that when I was pregnant both times, they only did ultrasounds if something was wrong. I had told her my daughter showed me ultrasound pictures from her three girls and I would always smile and say “Ohhhhhhhhh” but really I couldn’t tell there was anything there. To me it looked like snow on the TV did back in the day when channels actually went off the air at midnight.

She had explained the right ovary to me, and how she could see the cysts on it from the years of PCOS. She told me my uterus looked normal. Then she got to my left side and stayed there much longer than she did anywhere else and she didn’t talk any more.

I never even asked her about it, even though the silence was so obvious.

Basically it boils down to this... the doctor said there is definitely something on my left ovary and it was solid and hard. She drew for a CA125 before I left and we should know those results on Monday, but from everything I've read, the CA125 really isn't that accurate - lots of false positives and negatives. I read it is mostly used during the treatment of ovarian cancer to watch the progress or non-progress of the treatment.

Regardless, she wants another ultrasound (almost like sex twice in a two month period - wow! More action that I've seen in a couple of years. Snort-snort) in 6 weeks and if it isn't gone she said I will need surgery to remove it and do a biopsy and they'll look around in there to see if they see if there is anything suspicious looking. I wonder, if I throw an extra $500 their way, if they would yank some fat out since they're gonna be in there anyway???

I'd tell you the dimensions of the little bugger, but when she told me the first half of the dimensions (1.5 ct) my mind just went blank. I guess I was shocked that they found anything. I remember thinking, “She sounds just like she is in a well talking”.

I didn't tell my husband until last night. I didn't want it to sound like I was scared or anything, so I just casually mentioned it a few hours after I got home.

I have had all the symptoms except for ascites. I felt like something was wrong. I made this appointment 4 months ago. This doctor is always backed way up. Then when my appointment came up they called and cancelled it because she was gone to a funeral out of town, so I had to wait 2 more months.

I’m really not afraid, I have a weird feeling, but I wouldn’t call it fear. I know one thing, if they tell me I don’t have long left, I’m buying me a carton of Kools. I have not smoked in 9 months and 12 days, but if this is how it turns out, I'm smokin!